Creating Real Rituals for the Holiday Season
The coming holiday season can be so tender—bright for some, complicated for others, and – for many – somewhere uncomfortably in between…
Regardless of your views on life, one way to meet the season with steadiness is to make your own enjoyable rituals: small, repeatable actions infused with intention.
You may be a scientist, a Buddhist, or both; a mindfulness practitioner for health, stress reduction, or religious reasons; spiritual-but-not-religious; Christian, Hindu, Jewish, Pagan, Muslim, Daoist, Wiccan or another tradition not listed here; you may be atheist, agnostic, simply curious; and, you may just be trying to make through this time with some good authentic cheer.
Some rituals you create may be just for you, like sitting quietly for a few minutes before heading out to meet family or friends, or hosting loved ones at your place.
Other rituals can be instrumental in fostering an celebratory and easeful atmosphere for a whole group. Whoever you may gather with, thoughtful, intentional, repeatable acts can make an otherwise potentially stressful season more meaningful and more fun. And, only you and yours can know what rituals will work for you.
This simple guide offers both inspiration and evidence that can help you create and co-create such nourishing moments.
How Rituals Help
Rituals can steady the nervous system and ease anxiety. Experiments show that simple, repeatable actions can help reduce anxiety and foster a sense of control. Family rituals are also linked to well‑being, resilience, and stronger relationships. They can be used to engage connection across generational, ideological, social and yes, even political, differences of opinions.
Principles for Co‑Creating Holiday Rituals
- Name the intention (together, when co-creating). For example:
- ‘This is to remember our loved ones who are not here’ or
- ‘This is how we bring light and warmth to a season of long cold nights’.
- Keep it simple and repeatable.
- Engage the senses—sound, sight, and touch can support grounding.
- If you are initiator of the ritual, and propse like candles are needed, have those on hand
- Make it inclusive—use ordinary language or the language of ritual that you already share with the group.
- Mind safety and consent—let people opt in or out.
Including the Skeptics (with Warmth and Skill)
Every group gathering or family has a spectrum—those who love ritual, those who are curious about it, and those who gently (or loudly) roll their eyes. A meaningful gathering doesn’t require unanimous belief or attitude; it simply asks for shared respect. Here are some gentle ways to welcome the skeptics:
- Choose universal language—gratitude, kindness, remembrance.
- Offer alternatives to prayer or blessing, like taking a walk together.
- Keep participation optional; observing is participating; and, it is okay to opt out.
- Invite contributions based on participants’ strengths.
- Keep it brief and grounded.
Sample Holiday Rituals
Three Breaths, Three Wishes
Form a circle, at a table, in the living room on couches, or standing. Take three shared breaths. Go around the circle. Each person offers one wish or intention.
Candle for Gratitude & Loss
Light a candle. Each person who would like to is invited to name one gratitude and one absence. The group listens in silence.
Walk of Blessing
Take a short walk together. Offer simple wishes for neighbors and the natural world based in whatever the walkers notice and know.
Meal Blessing, Two Ways
Offer a secular gratitude or a spiritual blessing before eating.
Further Reading & Support
According to this Scientific American piece on Why Rituals Work:
Rituals take an extraordinary array of shapes and forms. At times performed in communal or religious settings, at times performed in solitude; at times involving fixed, repeated sequences of actions, at other times not. People engage in rituals with the intention of achieving a wide set of desired outcomes, from reducing their anxiety to boosting their confidence, [or] alleviating their grief…
Ritual doesn’t have to be ornate to be powerful.
Here at Middle Path Healing Arts, we’ve grown into a habit of hosting an annual New Years Day Gathering, live online, for setting intentions and meditating together. You are welcome to join us and experience our community ritual this year!
Whether it is two breaths before a meal, a shared line of blessing, or a moment of silence for absent friends such intentional acts can help keep the spirits bright and hold tremendous meaning. Start small, let intention guide you, and adapt with compassion. May your holidays be steady, kind, and touching in just the ways you need.